I just got back from VENUS Berlin. I’ve been going for years - more times than I can count - and every single time, I’m reminded of the same thing:

The adult industry still runs on real-life presence.

Not follower counts. Not algorithms. Not AI. If you want to win in this space - as a creator, a brand, a platform - you have to show up. Physically. Fully. Intentionally.

And yet, so many people still underestimate what happens when you meet face to face. They dread the travel, the awkward small talk, the idea of standing at a booth or shouting over loud music at some chaotic afterparty. Or they think offline events are just ego-fueled money pits. Here’s the truth no one wants to say out loud:

This is where the real spicy business gets done.

In a world of AI, your physical presence is the flex

We’re in the era of cloned voices, deepfaked bodies, and AI-generated charm. You don’t really know who you’re talking to half the time anymore.

That’s exactly why IRL matters more than ever.

At VENUS, I watched fans light up when meeting their favorite creators - people they’ve supported for years suddenly becoming real. I saw competitors share drinks and realize they had more to gain by collaborating than pretending they weren’t in the same game. I met startup founders who had 5 minutes to pitch their product and walked away with their first big client.

None of that happens at this speed on DMs.

For creators: it’s more than money — it’s meaning

You might be making six figures online. Great. But do you actually see the people behind the usernames?

The ones who’ve been there since your first post? The ones who send messages you don’t always have time to read? The ones who feel like you’ve saved their lives — or at least made them better?

Meeting fans in person does something that no AI, no app, no premium tier can replicate: it makes the work feel human again. You realize you’re not just selling content. You’re giving people an experience — one that often brings joy, connection, and confidence they don’t get elsewhere.

That’s powerful and makes fan-relationships really last.

For brands and platforms: stop sending interns

If your platform supports creators, you need to be seen supporting them. Not just with tweets and marketing emails, but with real presence. And no shade - but sending your most junior marketing person to “represent” your brand while the execs sit in Slack and banned Instagram (like the VENUS account, that actually got banned during the expo) back home? Not it.

Want to earn creators’ trust? Get on a plane. Be in the room. Look people in the eye. This industry is full of trauma, censorship, and broken promises. The bar for trust is low. That’s why showing up is such a competitive advantage.

How to not waste your time (and money) at offline events

Let’s be clear: just attending isn’t enough. Offline events can be exhausting, expensive, and chaotic, unless you approach them smartly.

Here’s how I do it (and how I advise clients to do it too):

• Forget the booth unless you go big.

A tiny stand with a sad banner isn’t going to impress. Either make it a full-on experience or skip it and focus on being social.

• Etiquette matters.

Every event has its own vibe. Do your homework: what to wear, what to say, what not to do. Show up like you belong.

• Business cards are dead.

When you meet someone, add them instantly on WhatsApp or Instagram. Send a follow-up message right away. Take a photo together. Write down where you met and what you talked about. You’ll thank yourself later.

• If you bring gifts, make them useful.

Pens? Trash. Lip balm, lube, snacks, mini mirrors, portable phone chargers? Memorable. Useable. Keepable.

• Go to the parties but don’t lose the plot.

Some of the best convos happen at side events, breakfast meetups, or quiet hallway chats while everyone else is still recovering. Pace yourself.

Final thought: you can’t clone real connection

We’re building brands in a world where almost everything can be automated. But what can’t be cloned is your voice, your presence, your energy in a room. People remember how you made them feel and if you never show up, they won’t feel anything at all. So next time you think “I’ll just skip this one,” ask yourself:

Do I really want to build a big and lasting brand? Or do I just want to look busy online?

Because if you’re not meeting people in real life, you’re not really in the adult business.